Life with Cate

Today is the five month mark for us adding Cate to our family. Our lives have been changed forever, John David and Wyatt have been changed forever. We are closer as a family unit and Cate gives the boys a glimpse of what life was like when they were little. Wyatt has dubbed her "Sissy La La" and often she is referred to as "La" by us and a few friends. We are a family of five. To add a child to the mix through adoption is a gift from God that reinforces my belief of God's presence in our lives. She is our daughter, sister and it is as if she has been here all along. This year on November 9th we  celebrated the first National Adoption Day in history. It was a great reminder to stop and reflect how many people we know who's lives have been touched by adoption. Our friend Tom Miller, Karen and Dale Miler, the Greenberg family, sweet Marla, Val and Justin with their little girls Helena and Maren, the O'Keefe's, David, Robin, Mitzie, John, my father, my boys, Colleen,  my cousins, my neighbor Tami, The Stephens family, the Adams' clan, two of my coworkers. We even know a families with 10, and Utah family with fourteen children. It seems the list goes on and on to remind us that every child deserves a family. Every single child that spends nights alone, cutting their teeth alone, spends time alone in the hospital for days after surgery. Every child who simulates human touch by their own hands. The children who rock themselves to sleep, the children who can not maintain eye contact. The adoption world is full of people who for whatever reason have stopped an noticed the urgent need that orphanages are full and, not all children get a family. Many age out at the age of fourteen. I admire the advocates in the adoption community for their tireless work to find children homes.  It doesn't matter how they ended up alone what matters is these innocent children do not deserve to be alone. Every child deserves to know love, deserves to be touched, every child needs to have a family. I wish the governing bodies that preside over adoption regulations and guidelines would notice that families come in all shapes and sizes, eyes wide open to different lifestyles.  My world is a better place because of all of the people who have touched my life through adoption. Thank you everyone for taking that blind leap of faith and bringing adoption into your lives. Thank you, John and Mitzie because without you and your courage, chances are I would not know my husband. I also want to thank my strong, stable endearing husband David for grabbing my hand and taking the leap with me, following our hearts. I know you will always be there to catch me if I fall.

I am not trying to paint a Norman Rockwell picture of our lives. It's not all perfect and wonderful every day. Having a two year old in the house is work, chaos and a full time job. No one here is complaining though, because the joy Cate brings to the table far outweighs the day to day tasks of caring for her.  Cate is by far the strongest (physically) of all my children at age 2. We see the wheels turning every time she conquers a new task.

She is a gift from from God and came from so far away. John David and Wyatt absolutely adore her and to see them insert, repeat, reinvent their childhood and share it while  they play and grow up  with Cate, is a constant reminder that as a family we are spiritually full and blessed. As a wife and mother I am honored and feel the presence of all that is good in my life everyday. The course of our lives has forever been altered by adoption and digging so deep to find the courage to take the leap and give a child a home. It almost doesn't feel right to say "a child "because I was asked by a dear friend of ours the other day (Gerry Carvalho)  "how long did it take you to fall in love when you met Catherine" I said about 10 seconds. He replied 'exactly and that is what God intended when he placed this child in front of you and David. Gerry is a person who can touch your heart in about two seconds and guide you spiritually with a single conversation.

So as the holidays approach and everyone is about to get really busy, please remember that November is National Adoption Month, reach out to someone you know who is adopted, thank a couple who gave a child a loving home, remember we are all God's children. With love and gratitude to John and Mitzie, I say 'thank you". You have raised a parentless child into a kind and loving, husband, father, a man of faith. Mitzie, you are a wonderful mother, friend,mother in-law, grandmother and my appreciation and love for you is endless.

National Adoption Day

Wyatt and Cate playing around (notice fridge door is wide open)

First shots, she only needed three to get caught up from Chinese standards

First winter vest - gift from the Miller's

Everyday dress for little girls in China

True joy

Sitting on a fire truck - she is fascinated by trucks and buses

Cate learning to love her bunny, Rosie

Cate trying on skis with big brother - John David

Tom Miller paying tribute to his mother and father on National Adoption Day.

John David's ski equipment 

Promised Pics of Little - Life with Cate

Birthday Spaghetti Face

 Biggest present she ever did see

Cate loves beans

Blueberries too

Cate's very own kid drawer

 Favorite pic from first few minutes we were home

 Sleeping soundly

 Nap time

 Wondering what a window screen is at Colleen's

Toilet paper party

Ooops !

Swimming Days

Baby in a wine box... hmmm

Little tear on the playground

Daddy fixed it ! All better now

She is a foodie

Ice cream with big brother. Check out her hair and his knees.

Sleeping 

Filling her brother pants

Hike with big brother Wyatt

Big brother 

Skater Baby

Loves the melon

Happy on a road trip to Tetons

Bath time in the kitchen sink

Do these stripes make my but look big?

Brothers took her for a walk in this get up.... just saying

Too much playing makes for sleeping out back in Wyatt's lap

Playing a game with her Daddy

On a walk with Wenda

Meeting Angel 

She loves my backpack, she looks like a teenage mutant turtle running around.

On the deck, chilling with my brothers

Update on Cate

Just to let everyone know that we had our final appointment for Cate. My fellow adoptive mama, Val called in a favor and we were squeeeeeezeeeeedddd in for an appointment with one of Salt Lake City's best pediatric cardiologist. Val said she had to offer up a free veterinary check up to the cardiologists new kitty in exchange for the appointment. Val is a great friend, veterinarian and mother of two beautiful girls who are also from China. Thank You Val.

After seeing every kind of doctor a two year old could see we officially have a clean bill of health for sweet Cate. Our children's hospital is top notch and David and I have feel like every member of Cate's  medical team truly cares about her. Cate still receives occupational therapies 2 x's per month and is progressing well. Carrie is her therapist and Cate just loves when she comes to the house. David loves his days with Cate, daddies really know how to play with children. Thank you David for not bothering to do her breakfast dishes or put her sweater away. Every time I come home from work after a Daddy day I am blessed to know that she was loved and played with so why care about the dried up oatmeal. You are a wonderful father.

Today is three months with Cate and our lives feel more blessed than we could  have ever imagined. As I type this John David brought me "little" and she sits in my lap leaning into me as if we have been together forever.  She is  child of God, an orphan no more.  We have made a solemn vow to raise her in the light and love of God.  

Shell is here

My sweet cousin Michelle came to Utah this weekend to meet Cate. Shell and I grew up more like sisters than cousins and have had a wonderful two days. I am so blessed to have Michelle in my life and to welcome Cate into our wonderful, disjointed family. We did nothing extraordinary these last two days, yet the weekend feels like it was so full of moments to seize and cherish.  Is it true to seize the moment or is each moment in our life already seized as long as we are living, growing, loving and sharing ?

I am off to bed, feeling grateful for David, my loving husband (who puts up with me through thick and thin), stuff he just doesn't t get, and the morning hugs he always remembers.You are my rock, my launching pad and my dream maker , thankful for my boys and the people that afford me the opportunity to live life to the fullest. My heart is full of hope for a little girl who is sleeping upstairs with someone she will grow  up to know as her Aunt Michelle, because our mom's believed in life together as a family.  I am also so amazed what 80 days of love can do,  Cate was grooving to Michael Jackson all alone tonight in the kitchen.... Michelle ????? I  am also thinking of all the children left behind because they are forgotten and can slip through the cracks, just like kiddos here. They are human beings, living in the shadows, people, helpless little people. At 3 or 4 years old how do have the ability to advocate for yourself?  You don't, so you hope (I guess) that someone does because you are a little person living in a institution losing 25% of your cognitive ability and motor skills every 4 months that you are stuck. I watch as Cate skyrockets, she is learning to navigate a world at lightening speed. Oh what love can do , may God's grace find the children left behind homes and forever families. Lots of pics to post tomorrow. Plus, Michelle has video of little Cate dancing.

I am truly surprised that she knows at such a young age who is safe and warm and who will naturally be a part of "her" tribe.  she will gravitate toward these people,  there is no fooling this girl, she knows who belongs in the tribe. Sweet simple Cate, loving, kind, generous,  way beyond her years, she is a firecracker and knows how to give and receive love - spectacular sight for anyone who has not witnessed a Cate day or dinner party.


We  (Michelle and I)  shared with Cate a few words of wisdom and popular phrases our mothers used  from our childhood that are still definitely quite useful and unbelievably still applicable after 40 some years.  Hey,  a splinter is a splinter and it's gotta come out. We are happy share our tidbits if you just ask.... too funny. Our mothers were characters, a set, a pair, a twosome most of the time. So our childhood was an adventure, that now provides lots of tugs at the ol' heart and fond memories. I won't lie there is also the comic relief side of childhood that makes us belly laugh. Some of the memories are shared and some are mixed up and a few will never be fully understood. When you put in all on the table I cant help but see my mom in me and how I parent. Michelle thank you for growing up and old with me, you are in my heart.

Good night our sweet Cate and to all your buddies still left behind. Good night Rubie, we are thinking of you. Love to everyone and a heartfelt thanks to Michelle for a weekend that was as much about our childhood and the ties that bind, as it was about little Miss Cate getting to know her family. Thank you, Nan, you are missed.

Cate's birthday and highlights from the last month

Cate turned 2 last on the 20th of August. We don't know  time she was born or even the location, we are not sure it's even her birthday. We woke up and I commented that it did not feel like a birth day, next year I am sure it will feel like more a a birthday. She has been with us just 75 days, 75 wonderful days but none  the less, 75 days total. Plus  she is not old enough to know what a birthday means. We did not have plans for a party because she would be overwhelmed. So what do you do when you don't know what to do ? You make spaghetti and see how the day unfolds. Colleen and Tom happened to be home so they came to dinner, Pam and Willy we able to come too,  and it felt absolutely perfect. No hoopla, just a spaghetti dinner with some of our closest friends in honor of our little girl turning 2. She was super impressed with the spaghetti and loved the very simple gifts, wooden blocks, balls and  2 cars. It was a great evening and in the end it felt like her birthday even though we were missing an important member of the family, our oldest,John David upstairs in bed.

He has been under the weather off and on for over 2 weeks. He is such a trooper, he doesn't often get sick and I knew he wasn't feeling well, but when he came to me and said "Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital" Since I had an early appt, scheduled that I could not miss  Wyatt (with the help of a neighbor changing a diaper) kept Cate till I returned. As soon as I returned we went to the pediatrician office, who said go to the hospital for labs, thinking he would get it back by the end of day. I had to go up to the hospital to drop of samples of Cate's xxxx since she was diagnosed with a parasitic infection the week before. The samples were an almost daily journey, as was the TB test that needed  to be read on a friday, but the tech told me to come back by Sat to have her arm read for a rash indicating a positive result, she had no rash. when I arrived at the hospital early Sat only to find  out the main lab is closed and only the inpatient lab is open, so they were helpful and dug up her records, only to find out the window to document results had passed, 11 hours too late, funny thing we had her there during the right timeframe, but she stayed outside to play with David while I did the daily drop of the xxxx sample for the parasite in her tummy. Come Monday she would be poked again. By this time John David is worse, he is not drinking or able to eat. After coming home from the hospital for his labs and Cate's drop off and I put him to bed only to realize the ceiling in the kitchen is leaking from the bathroom above. Still no results for John David's blood draw so no treatment plan in place other than keep him in bed and hydrated. Weekend goes by, he sleeps and sleeps. Monday afternoon we get the results he has concurrent cases mononucleosis and  viral tonsillitis. Our wonderful pediatrician also says he is severely dehydrated and blood counts are low, he needs to get to the ER. I am at work when I get the phone call so within 2 hours I have him, Cate and a fully loaded diaper bag in tow headed to Primary Children's. Immediately he is given IV fluids and steroids, worse case the doctor has ever seen, his throat is so raw it looks black in color and his tonsils are touching. 6 1/2 hours there and he's feeling better. He has been sick for over 3 weeks now, 2 trips to the pediatrician, 2 trips to the ER, sleeping marathons and lots of ice cream. Im happy to report he is doing much better and his new high school has been very accommodating during his first  week at school. He has a modified plan in place for the next six weeks and he will be able to self regulate his school days and assignments.
I will add pictures and more updates later today.

See Cate Go

Again, it strikes me in such an odd way how it feels as though she has always been here and then again it is as though it is still brand new. Adoption gives such a different perspective to look through it really is one of the more difficult things you will do in your life. As a family we are forever changed and our lives will be enriched because of it.

Cate had done very well after her procedure and seems to be hearing us better , it's hard to know due to her age and of course the language difference. We will visit the ENT mid August and she will go through another battery of test. We have an appointment set up with an organization locally called DDI Vantage who will come into our home and do an extensive assessment on Cate's developmental delays and formulate a plan specific to her needs. One more new doctor, possibly two and we should have a big picture of her overall health, she will see the International Infectious Disease part of her team and they may or may not get her EEG done at that appointment. If not then she will see her pediatric cardiologist for that due to her diagnosis as an infant of having a PDA. We are hoping the PDA has self resolved.

Today we are going to take a short road trip to the Tetons and stay with some wonderful friends of ours for the weekend. We have been sticking close to home as Cate settles in and establishes her routine and learns about her environment. A quick break does the body and soul good, so I am hopeful we have a great first get away as a family. We are also looking forward to a visit from the Corley's before the start of school and, my cousin (feels like a sister)  Michelle and her daughter Ellen are planning on a weekend the beginning of September. John and Mitzie will come to Utah for a visit later that same month.

Here are some of the latest pics of Cate and a video of her dancing in the kitchen.

On  a walk with Wyatt

Too cute

Figuring out how to eat a pickle 

Watermelon has turned out be a favorite

More of those beautiful beans, she loves 'em

A bunch of blueberries in the morning sunshine

Cate's own "kid drawer" she goes through it several times a day