See Cate Go

Again, it strikes me in such an odd way how it feels as though she has always been here and then again it is as though it is still brand new. Adoption gives such a different perspective to look through it really is one of the more difficult things you will do in your life. As a family we are forever changed and our lives will be enriched because of it.

Cate had done very well after her procedure and seems to be hearing us better , it's hard to know due to her age and of course the language difference. We will visit the ENT mid August and she will go through another battery of test. We have an appointment set up with an organization locally called DDI Vantage who will come into our home and do an extensive assessment on Cate's developmental delays and formulate a plan specific to her needs. One more new doctor, possibly two and we should have a big picture of her overall health, she will see the International Infectious Disease part of her team and they may or may not get her EEG done at that appointment. If not then she will see her pediatric cardiologist for that due to her diagnosis as an infant of having a PDA. We are hoping the PDA has self resolved.

Today we are going to take a short road trip to the Tetons and stay with some wonderful friends of ours for the weekend. We have been sticking close to home as Cate settles in and establishes her routine and learns about her environment. A quick break does the body and soul good, so I am hopeful we have a great first get away as a family. We are also looking forward to a visit from the Corley's before the start of school and, my cousin (feels like a sister)  Michelle and her daughter Ellen are planning on a weekend the beginning of September. John and Mitzie will come to Utah for a visit later that same month.

Here are some of the latest pics of Cate and a video of her dancing in the kitchen.

On  a walk with Wyatt

Too cute

Figuring out how to eat a pickle 

Watermelon has turned out be a favorite

More of those beautiful beans, she loves 'em

A bunch of blueberries in the morning sunshine

Cate's own "kid drawer" she goes through it several times a day

Monday's are BIG BIG Days

As you travel through the world of adoption you meet people you click with, people you stay in contact with from your Gotcha Day (The day you get your child at the civil affairs office in China. With very few exceptions everyone is the Chinese adoption world everyone get their child on Monday. Well today joyful, because a person we click with Jill G got her Isabelle, and the pictures made me tear up just a little. Jill is on the same track just a few weeks behind, she also has been brave enough to take her two of her bio children to China, they are older kids but still kids. Her husband is leaving in just a few days because of work and she will be there on her own with 3 kids, one she just meet this morning. Isabelle is Cate's age and they were buddies at the orphanage. It is our hope to keep the girls in touch. Through faith adoptive families families take a leap than is unimaginable by most people. Adopting a child you have never held is to truly put all your trust in God. I recall going through our process and worrying about so many things. I felt the need to talk to a fellow adoptive family from church. During our conversation we discussed many things but the one piece that stayed with me as I walked away was "Trust in God, he will hold you up when it's too much, he will guide you when you are lost, turn it over to God as you take this journey. I came home and prayed for love and guidance as I answered the call to leave no orphan behind and my prayers were answered. I felt relief after turning it over to God, knowing he would provide exactly what I needed.

Also today was a great day because I finally heard from Lucy,  she has been busy bonding with her sweet Tori also from Cate's orphanage. Lucy is doing great, we were getting a little worried because of the typhoon and all the stressful things that can happen with a new child, but everyone is safe and sound. The photos of Tori with Lucy are just beautiful, you can tell Tori feels safe.

Thats it for now, I will post later about the adventures of Cate as she recoups from her surgery. Although it was a simple procedure it's tough on a little one. More later......

Big Day for Cate

We found out Tuesday that Cate does not hear us very well, she has quite a bit of fluid trapped in her ear. This problem is not uncommon in cleft lip / cleft palate children. It is a result of being unable to clear the naturally occurring fluid in our ears, sinus, etc. Cate has a lack of the muscle movement needed to accomplish this due to her palate being open since birth.  We are getting ready for a 630 show at Primary Children's Hospital and 800 o'clock surgery. The surgery should be very quick. She will be groggy today and hopefully home some time this afternoon.

Nice Surprise! Last night John David and I decided to take Cate to a Vinto, a local pizza, pasta joint that's walkable from our house. This was actually her first time to go out to dinner. Shortly after we were seated in walks David, he decided not to play hockey after all and joined us for dinner. Very nice surprise for everyone, it was really touching to see John David and David sharing an evening together while I showed Cate how to eat spaghetti and meatballs.

Hoping all of our adoption community friends,  who are getting to know their children this week in China are settling in and enjoying the process of their new little ones.

One Month Post Cate

Wow it's hard to believe we been a family of five for one month today. David had his first trip and was gone for a week. He returned home Friday night, late and although it was an off track sleeping day for Cate, I kept her awake to see him, she was tired, but got very excited to see her daddy she got some hugs and love then off to bed. I am one of those moms that truly believes sleep is a gift for children.  John David and Wyatt were so sleep trained as toddlers they would ask for their naps when they were ready. The miles away were  tough for David, being this was his first trip since returning home from China. I definitely had my hands full with singular charge of a little one who is realizing that since she wakes up here every day,  surely this is her kingdom. John David and Wyatt are very helpful, but there are some things only a mom can do. Cate is an explorer, a lover and most of all a a tinkerer. She absolutely loves to study what something is, how it works and how many uses can she find for it. John David is blowing her mind with little science experiments, oh the look on her face "how do it do that? and of course there's the "let's do it again" Finally comes the "I wanna try ". The adjustments are still happening and we are still busy making a "place for Cate" in more ways than one. She is in our bedroom for now in a full size crib that was donated to our family from a complete stranger. Her clothes now have places between two rooms. She has a few things to grow into for fall mostly from the Greenberg's, Marla. I am so glad we did not go crazy, she has just enough, not too much, just enough. We live in very tight quarters and are going to need to get creative when she needs a room of her own. It is really sweet to see and hear Wyatt contemplate any upcoming changes because Cate will either share a room with him for awhile, enclose our upstairs back porch or David has even mentioned building up a story. I was getting a pedicure and talking with a man from Vietnam, he commented how little space his family lives in back home and although they have the money they are content with very few material possession, nice reminder that sometimes less means more.

We had a dinner party with a few friends, Paul, his wife Adelle and a surprise visit from Angel who just returned from Bali. Cate was great with all the people and activity, but still seemed to get a little over stimulated at times. Her coping strategies and cues are becoming more apparent to us as time goes by.

We also had our first post adoption home visit Monday, with our social worker Melissa, the visit went well and we will see Melissa again at the 6 month mark. Hague convention requires that adoptive families are followed for a minimum of five years, we couldn't ask for a better social worker to be involved in our adoption.

Cate absolutely loves water, she is a true water baby. I gave her the hose yesterday with the spray nozzle locked on low and she played with it for about an hour, reminded me off Wyatt and  he loved the hose. I have pics of Wyatt doing exactly the same thing in the same front yard when we first moved to D. Street.

Attaching pics from the last few days.

Fire fighter in the making ???

Looks like a pic we have of Wyatt

Sleeping last night 

Wenda, the tomato thief, yes thats tomato dust from neighborhood foraging

At neighborhood park trying out the slide

Happy Birthday Mom

Today would be my mom's 70th birthday and I am sure that she would be making Cate a special quilt already. I look back and reflect on my life as a child and her life as a mother. For the better part of her life she devoted her entire being to raising her children, we were all very lucky to have a mom like Nan. I learned most of what I know, well at least the stuff that really works from my mother. I will always remember when John David was a little guy, and she shared yet another piece of her maternal wisdom with me. She reminded me that when children are young all you have to do is keep it simple and to really play with them everyday even if it's just  10 or 20 minutes at a time. She said if you did this a few times a day you would have happy kids.  Today we did just that, kept it simple, a box was our entertainment, we made magic carpet out of a towel and giggled when Cate sniffed and snorted her bath bubbles. The toilet paper party this morning was also great fun, till we had to clean it up.

Thank you mom for taking the time to teach me the "old timey" stuff that never fails me when it comes to caring for my family. I am blessed to have a loving  husband,  two wonderful boys and now a new little one who sits with us each night at dinner. I wish you were here, you are missed, my heart is a little bit heavier today because I long for you to be able to hold your 14th grandchild in your arms. You often dreamt about your family and when it was about the little ones you said you could actually smell them in your dream, so tonight, for you I "powdered Cate up" (as you used to say to all the grand babies ) I hope you know she is here and surrounded with love. Happy birthday Mom, DFTR.....

In the kitchen sink fun with bubbles

In a box 

In a kiddie pool with John David showing her science experiments.

Got the shivers so Wyatt scooped up his new pal.

Early morning toilet paper party, so much fun we were late for the dentist. 

Cate's Days of Summer

The days are fast and the learning curve is steep. Cate is a survivor, a warrior, a little wee one that has  been through more pain and loss in her 22 months than most people experience in a lifetime. Somehow this little girl learned to put on her boots and keep a smile on her face through all the trials and tribulations. As a mom I now see what other adoptive parents say, when we see the pics of our little kiddos while we wait, we see light and love in their eyes. It is only after we know them awhile we realize that light in their eyes it a survival mechanism, perhaps hope, but definitely not happiness. We want so much to believe our littles are happy and well taken care of and while they might be just that, nothing feels like having a family. We wake up everyday and she is a little teary (or so we think) but the a smile, the smile that's  so big as she lights up as she reaches for our arms to grab her from a night's slumber is able to melt hearts and get my /our tired selves going for another day of adventure. We are not cocooning in the true sense of the word but we are definitely sticking close to home base. Cate loves to venture out but still has an entire house to explore, get comfortable in. She loves to run errands, be outside and she loves all the visitors stopping in for a quick hello. It is as though she can't believe she is here another day, to us it is as though she has always been here. Colleen will come by when she is able and give little Cate a bath and good night loves, there is nothing sweeter than a little one trusting enough to fall asleep in your arms. Our night routine often includes a quick walk to the neighbors to say "good nights".  If we don't make it to Pam's and Willy's then Pam will usually give a call and come down to simply say good night. God has given us a gift and we pray that we are offering her the love, attachment, bonding in a way that suits her, no adopted child is the same. We pray that as the days go by she learns felt safety in her new world. She fits, she fits her brothers, she fits the donated highchair, she fits the space she takes up in everyone's heart, she fits our house our community, she just simply fits all of us.  This is not to say it is all perfect because it's not she has all the normal behaviors of a 2 year old but she is a survivor  who has had her fair share of heartbreak and some of that shows up because she has learned to fight for herself, to preserver, to rise above. She has trouble being on the sidewalk, and when hunger hits it's for real. The language is a big barrier to overcome, she does not understand us and since she has only had her palate repaired for 6 months, she really has very little language, mostly sounds. So we keep talking and talking, I was told today by a very dear friend to "wait a minute, it will come". My friend knows what she is talking about and I took great comfort in those words today, "wait a minute, it will come" very profound for both David and me. Through everything this little person has gone through she still carries a smile in her heart and a hug so full of new found spirit that you hope will never end. We are blown away by the added bonus that this little girl is for the most part happy, she loves life and it feels as though she has belonged to us all along. We truly are lucky to have such a beautiful gift, the journey has it's bumps but the joy is priceless. Our table of 5 is full.

Cate sometimes no longer wants a bottle, or has very little to do with it. She has learned to use a sippy. We are having days full of what some might consider  a bunch of nothing,  a ride in the car, popsicle in her plastic kiddie pool, looking through glass and wondering how she can see her brother or her very first Slurpee when her teeth hurt so bad. We gave her a big bowl of ice a pan and a pastry brush on a towel in the kitchen, she played for two hours, we moved the party outside, this time with a bowl of warm water. To see her be amazed that ice melts in her hand was a sight I will never forget, then came the banana dunking, her hands were so cold but she continued to explore. She would dunk the banana and shiver when she took a cold bite, we then gave her shredded wheat. The looks on Cate's face as it disintegrated a fell to the bottom of the bowl was priceless. She played independently for almost 4 hours, she was thrilled and her face showed pure delight. I can't imagine what goes through her head as each day unfolds, she is one brave little girl. She walked quite a bit on the sidewalk today, I even got a few steps out of her on the grass. 

As a mom I can tell that her natural mother loved her, held her, whispered in her ear.  She was born  and cared for by a woman who possesses more courage than I could ever hope to. A mother who knew her daughter needed care that she was not able to provide. I pray that her mother's  love is imprinted in her tiny heart and that she will never forget it or feel lost and alone again. I grieve for her family, to not know where your child is, or if they survived must be heartbreaking. I can hope that God will give her mother the gift of peace in knowing somehow that her daughter has a loving family. Cate is full of God's grace because of her mothers strength and courage. Our hearts are full of love and gratitude for a woman we will never know. I can not imagine, it brings tears to my eyes just to think of how much love her mother felt for her in order to give her a chance to survive, truly a selfless act.

John David and Wyatt are enjoying their new sister and Wenda (the family Lab) loves that Cate walks around and drops food, not to mention the magic food dispensing black chair that delivers tidbits sun up to sun down to Wenda as she patiently waits nearby.

The pics are out of order but so is life right now. Enjoy. 

Wishing the King's love and safe travels as your journey begins today.

Sleepy girl - Day 2 at home

Sleepy girl and Daddy -Day 3 at home

Oh Yeah ! Dad showed her how the cat door works - if it's missing just look in the basement

She loves beans and bananas and avocados.... we think she might be a little Portuguese like her mama

Here she is trying to catch the sun. She has no idea why or how it is shining on her face or hand 

Ice games version 1.0

Ice games version 1.1
 See the banana.
This was the first time Wenda sat by her, watching over our new family member

Where is my brother ? She loves this game.
John David is standing on the hand rail and Cate is in the hallway on the 2nd floor.

Good hair day !

Watermelon feast = sticky mess for mom.
Magic black chair

Yoga pose just a couple night ago, she was so tired.

Looking out a ground floor window at Colleens house, wondering how she can see me in the driveway

Window screen was fascinating also at Colleen's

Cate seems to enjoy water, I only put in a couple inches. She played independently for a hour or more.

Even got her face wet

Popsicle treat before getting out and then.....

Intruder alert ! Jaime's little Grant saw the pool  and came running over.  At first he got in fully clothed.

I take a pic every night of her sleeping.

Out for an adventure just yesterday

Last plane ride home. 36 hours travelings makes for a tired Wyatt.

Same here, cooked, fried, put a fork in him, John David was done.

Cate's first morning (well it was actually 2 p.m.) and someone delivered a giant present.
Thank you Tami, Colleen and Pam.

Cate's home for 9 days

Time is flying and the days are over as soon as they start. i have pictures to upload to go with this post and hope to get it done early tomorrow. Cate is doing great, adjusting well and I am starting to anticipate what she needs. The lack of language and time spent together offers it's challenges, but love will prevail.

Cate saw 2 doctors this week and both said she looks healthy, alert and is a survivor. Our family pediatrician put her on 20 days of antibiotics because he thinks she has had a sinus infection for quite some time, full physical with him and her heart sounds great.  Paul S. is our pediatrician and his daughter recently adopted a special needs child from China, she has been home for around 8 months so I think Paul has a sweet spot for little Cate.We also had an appt with her cleft team and it went better that expected. We saw 2 of her doctors that day and both said her palate, lip look "excellent". It looks as though a very skilled surgeon took care of our little one and performed an extensive palate surgery on my 50th birthday. It breaks my heart to think she spent 8 days in a hospital all alone, but we are feeling blessed that  her repair should not fail. We found out she had been repaired just a few weeks before we traveled so we were not sure what her condition would be. Next week will be 2 more doctors appts, one with an ENT, both Paul and her cleft team have recommended that there is a strong possibility for tubes in her ears  since cleft kids don't quite have the suckle strength nor the proper techniques / muscle development for fluid drainage.

 I will post all the fun stuff tomorrow along with the pics. Every day is new and it is such an honor to witness our little girl's world open up. She loves to FaceTime with David, all he sees is a skin tone square because she is trying to get as close to hime as possible, very sweet.

Pics from June 27th, Homecoming Day for Cate

SFO Airport

Big brother Wyatt

The Mohr Family of 5. 

Settling in and getting tickles from our neighbor Peter