We Wait

There are many roads to adoption. Most are full of bumps and potholes, beautiful scenery, days with the top down and the wind in your hair. The emotions are all over the map. Various colors of push pins strategically placed from point "A" to point "B". Weeks  of clarity, bouts of self doubt. The moment your heart, your  head and your partner say 'yes' is one for the books, the internal struggle is a game of tug of war and the internal dialogue is often bipolar. Sometimes, the process feels like  the road trip between Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise in Rainman. The drive itself is comical, heart wrenching, aggravating, pensive and at many times over whelming.

You feel like your existence and future is in the hands of others, sometimes alienated from the process because you have no control.  Their are moments where you feel like it's time to back out and moments when you long for your child, yet you have never met. Sometimes you talk out loud and sometimes you keep it all to yourself.


A couple of days ago Wyatt asked me if we could afford this adoption and I said "no not really but we will find a way". It brought me back to a time when we had little money and pizza night was a big deal, or the year David and I lived on Lipton French Onion soup and tuna sandwiches. You get creative and find a way to make it all happen. To this day our anniversary dinner is just the two of us, french onion soup and a tuna sandwich. It's a reminder of where we have been, where we are going and the knowledge that through thick and thin we will always get there.

This adoption road has been different, yet the same. As we inch towards travel our travel date and we hear China calling us back, we begin to dream instead of worry about this little girl our daughter who has delight in her eyes

Here are two clips of Cate that are too cute not to share. For now I will dream for the two little girls who will be sisters in a short time, save the worry for the teenage years....