The days are fast and the learning curve is steep. Cate is a survivor, a warrior, a little wee one that has been through more pain and loss in her 22 months than most people experience in a lifetime. Somehow this little girl learned to put on her boots and keep a smile on her face through all the trials and tribulations. As a mom I now see what other adoptive parents say, when we see the pics of our little kiddos while we wait, we see light and love in their eyes. It is only after we know them awhile we realize that light in their eyes it a survival mechanism, perhaps hope, but definitely not happiness. We want so much to believe our littles are happy and well taken care of and while they might be just that, nothing feels like having a family. We wake up everyday and she is a little teary (or so we think) but the a smile, the smile that's so big as she lights up as she reaches for our arms to grab her from a night's slumber is able to melt hearts and get my /our tired selves going for another day of adventure. We are not cocooning in the true sense of the word but we are definitely sticking close to home base. Cate loves to venture out but still has an entire house to explore, get comfortable in. She loves to run errands, be outside and she loves all the visitors stopping in for a quick hello. It is as though she can't believe she is here another day, to us it is as though she has always been here. Colleen will come by when she is able and give little Cate a bath and good night loves, there is nothing sweeter than a little one trusting enough to fall asleep in your arms. Our night routine often includes a quick walk to the neighbors to say "good nights". If we don't make it to Pam's and Willy's then Pam will usually give a call and come down to simply say good night. God has given us a gift and we pray that we are offering her the love, attachment, bonding in a way that suits her, no adopted child is the same. We pray that as the days go by she learns felt safety in her new world. She fits, she fits her brothers, she fits the donated highchair, she fits the space she takes up in everyone's heart, she fits our house our community, she just simply fits all of us. This is not to say it is all perfect because it's not she has all the normal behaviors of a 2 year old but she is a survivor who has had her fair share of heartbreak and some of that shows up because she has learned to fight for herself, to preserver, to rise above. She has trouble being on the sidewalk, and when hunger hits it's for real. The language is a big barrier to overcome, she does not understand us and since she has only had her palate repaired for 6 months, she really has very little language, mostly sounds. So we keep talking and talking, I was told today by a very dear friend to "wait a minute, it will come". My friend knows what she is talking about and I took great comfort in those words today, "wait a minute, it will come" very profound for both David and me. Through everything this little person has gone through she still carries a smile in her heart and a hug so full of new found spirit that you hope will never end. We are blown away by the added bonus that this little girl is for the most part happy, she loves life and it feels as though she has belonged to us all along. We truly are lucky to have such a beautiful gift, the journey has it's bumps but the joy is priceless. Our table of 5 is full.
Cate sometimes no longer wants a bottle, or has very little to do with it. She has learned to use a sippy. We are having days full of what some might consider a bunch of nothing, a ride in the car, popsicle in her plastic kiddie pool, looking through glass and wondering how she can see her brother or her very first Slurpee when her teeth hurt so bad. We gave her a big bowl of ice a pan and a pastry brush on a towel in the kitchen, she played for two hours, we moved the party outside, this time with a bowl of warm water. To see her be amazed that ice melts in her hand was a sight I will never forget, then came the banana dunking, her hands were so cold but she continued to explore. She would dunk the banana and shiver when she took a cold bite, we then gave her shredded wheat. The looks on Cate's face as it disintegrated a fell to the bottom of the bowl was priceless. She played independently for almost 4 hours, she was thrilled and her face showed pure delight. I can't imagine what goes through her head as each day unfolds, she is one brave little girl. She walked quite a bit on the sidewalk today, I even got a few steps out of her on the grass.
As a mom I can tell that her natural mother loved her, held her, whispered in her ear. She was born and cared for by a woman who possesses more courage than I could ever hope to. A mother who knew her daughter needed care that she was not able to provide. I pray that her mother's love is imprinted in her tiny heart and that she will never forget it or feel lost and alone again. I grieve for her family, to not know where your child is, or if they survived must be heartbreaking. I can hope that God will give her mother the gift of peace in knowing somehow that her daughter has a loving family. Cate is full of God's grace because of her mothers strength and courage. Our hearts are full of love and gratitude for a woman we will never know. I can not imagine, it brings tears to my eyes just to think of how much love her mother felt for her in order to give her a chance to survive, truly a selfless act.
John David and Wyatt are enjoying their new sister and Wenda (the family Lab) loves that Cate walks around and drops food, not to mention the magic food dispensing black chair that delivers tidbits sun up to sun down to Wenda as she patiently waits nearby.
The pics are out of order but so is life right now. Enjoy.
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She loves beans and bananas and avocados.... we think she might be a little Portuguese like her mama
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Here she is trying to catch the sun. She has no idea why or how it is shining on her face or hand
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| Ice games version 1.0 |
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Ice games version 1.1
See the banana.
This was the first time Wenda sat by her, watching over our new family member |
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Where is my brother ? She loves this game.
John David is standing on the hand rail and Cate is in the hallway on the 2nd floor. |
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| Good hair day ! |
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Watermelon feast = sticky mess for mom.
Magic black chair |
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| Yoga pose just a couple night ago, she was so tired. |
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| Looking out a ground floor window at Colleens house, wondering how she can see me in the driveway |
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| Window screen was fascinating also at Colleen's |
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| Cate seems to enjoy water, I only put in a couple inches. She played independently for a hour or more. |
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| Even got her face wet |
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| Popsicle treat before getting out and then..... |
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| Intruder alert ! Jaime's little Grant saw the pool and came running over. At first he got in fully clothed. |
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| I take a pic every night of her sleeping. |
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| Out for an adventure just yesterday |
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| Last plane ride home. 36 hours travelings makes for a tired Wyatt. |
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| Same here, cooked, fried, put a fork in him, John David was done. |
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Cate's first morning (well it was actually 2 p.m.) and someone delivered a giant present.
Thank you Tami, Colleen and Pam. |
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